welcome to the jungle we've got fun and games

[saddleclub]

Who: Y'all
When: Day 8 noonish
Where: THE JUNGLE

[So there is a mostly unexplored jungle out there.

It seems like a good day to explore it, eh?

Please look out for:

Venomous snakes, the smaller ones will leave you fevered and nauseas, the larger may stop your heart.

Spores, inhaling them can leave you with mild to severe continuing hallucinations

Pollen, it may make you sneeze.

Dark shadows in the undergrowth, that seem to whisper as you pass. In familiar voices...? Or that's just the wind.

Vicious monsters. They want to eat you.

And look out, if you go exploring, because halfway through your adventure the sky seems to open up and pour on you, try to find a safe shelter--if that exists in the jungle.

For those of you not inclined to explore well, you may see lights in the jungle, little wisps, of light in the growth, or maybe it's your team colors you see? The more you look the more you feel practically compelled to follow those lights and flashes of something familiar....

Maybe you get caught by the jungle's dangers, trapped in a cave by the downpour, or maybe you make it to an odd break around a still pond, the surface so smooth it's almost like a mirror. If you look in, your reflection looks back. And it smiles at you.

And if you make it this far, if you look deep into your reflection and let it stare back, you might find yourself leaning down, towards it--hopefully you have a companion to pull you back before pale arms reach to pull you in and drown you.

Even if you're pulled back from the glass pool, a strange dread lingers with you for a while. And the urge to be near others is incredibly strong. Be it their presence or their touch you crave, you need reassurance.

((OOC: Explore, use this an excuse for wet huddling together in a cave while hallucinating, get cool new scars from fighting beasts, encounter the glassy pool, or whatever! Grab a buddy, have a good(?) time.))]

Comments

[ruinatings]

I'm fine Jusis. Go away.

[Well. He's more fine than he was a second ago, cause the icy water is pretty sobering. So he is capable of showering, just not while standing up, and rinsing his hair is a bit of an issue.]

[saddleclub]

[He scowls at the dismissal but goes, returning in a bit with folded clothes that get put on the sink with a towel and then he's investigating how Rufus is doing.]

Are you done?

[ruinatings]

No.

[Leave him alone Jusis!! It's just... It's a lot of soap. He has a lot of hair.]

...You can leave, you know. I'm not going to pass out.

[saddleclub]

[He rolls up his sleeves and crouches down to reach for Rufus.]

Lean forward.

[He'll help rinse your stupid hair.]

[ruinatings]

...

[Ugh whatever. He's not up to arguing. Besides... the truth is, he's kind of enjoying Jusis fussing over him. He feels like a mess, yes, but they were apart for so long, and he was prepared to be apart for even longer. Maybe the rest of his life.

So he's doing what he's told, though he's red-faced from embarrassment.]

...This is ridiculous.

[saddleclub]

Drink is known to make fools of everyone, you can't claim to be surprised.

[He is, despite the complete lack of empathy in his words, very gentle in rinsing Rufus's hair, and attempting not to get any soap in his brother's eyes. His tone may be clipped and unsympathetic but aside from the cold water treatment he'd never be truly mean. He cares about his brother, and he's pretty worried that Rufus is this drunk and why he'd let himself get this way.]

[ruinatings]

...I suppose I can't.

[It actually feels really nice, which is weird. Rufus doesn't let people get in his bubble so he's really not accustomed to this kind of tender attention.

He's so drunk there's nothing to block the swell of bittersweet emotion it's causing, but fortunately there's water everywhere and his hair is in the way so it's hard for Jusis to see the abrupt burst of tears before Rufus gets them under control. It only takes a few seconds.]

[saddleclub]

[Even Rufus can't hide the way tears hitch his breathing. Though Jusis isn't sure what he's caught, aside from Rufus being upset, and rather than call attention to it he makes sure Rufus is rinsed and shuts the water off, reaching behind himself without standing to snag the towel and drape it over Rufus's head.]

Come on, you can't stay in there all day. At least get dressed.

[He won't stop fussing over Rufus, at least, gentle actions in contrast to his vaguely rude tone.]

[ruinatings]

[Vaguely rude is the Jusis default so Rufus just thinks it's cute. Which is killing him. He manages not to lose it, though, instead focusing on the right way of gently squeezing water out of his hair to minimize breakage. It's ingrained.]

I'm going to.

[Of course he'll get dressed! He's just torn between wishing Jusis would go and leave him alone and wishing Jusis would just give him a hug and bring back the happiness that Rufus himself threw away in the name of perfection.

But in the habit of perfection he's not letting that out. He's just stumbling to his feet and yanking his clothes on.]

[saddleclub]

[It's not quite a hug but Jusis is slipping his arm around Rufus's ribs once he's dressed, pulling him around to steer him to his room.]

[ruinatings]

[It's... something. Awkward, mainly. But he's letting it happen because he doesn't want to end up on the floor again.

He will at least sit down properly on the edge of the bed rather than tumble into it.]

You're going quite out of your way.

[saddleclub]

[That's good. But he'll still steady his brother with hands on his shoulders.]

What is that supposed to mean?

[He doesn't understand where Rufus is coming from. Is his brother making fun of him or something?]

[ruinatings]

For someone who's been "forgotten". Haven't you realised yet what kind of person you're worrying about?

[saddleclub]

Yes. I'm caring for my older brother.

[Who is a pain in the ass and drunk but he's going to sit next to Rufus.]

What are you talking about?

[ruinatings]

You... really have no idea.

[Because Rufus won't tell him, of course. But Rufus is also really fuckin' drunk and sad so he's having a hard time seeing why he's been hiding it so hard.]

The truth will only hurt you, Jusis. Are you sure you want me to tell you? About why I avoided you for so long.

[saddleclub]

Let me see, I have only been attempting to get you to explain every time you'll deign to speak to me. What do you think?

[Maybe Rufus is too drunk for sarcasm.]

Yes. Tell me.

[ruinatings]

[He gets the sarcasm but still! He can't help but wonder if Jusis is going to regret finding out.

But it's true he's been asking over and over. He'll find out eventually. So Rufus just sighs, pushing his wet hair back away from his face and looking at the floor.]

...I'm not your brother, actually. Not by blood.

[saddleclub]

[That's such a revelation said so, almost casually.... it's almost unreal. He can't quite believe it.]

What?

[Did he really hear that right?]

this thread has A Lot Of Spoilers if other people are reading it btw

[ruinatings]

My actual father was the duke's younger brother. He was banished, and the truth was buried. From the very start our family was... wrong, from the inside. Everything that Father did -- the way he treated you, the way he treated our people, all of it -- was so... twisted. And so common amongst the nobility.

When I was a child, I did everything I was told, whether I liked it or not. But I hated it so much that eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. So I turned my back on it, before I ever met you properly, and pledged myself to someone else. Everything I ever was to you was in some part a lie. You see?

[saddleclub]

[Sorry he's feeling like he must be rude once drunk suddenly. This feels so unreal. This isn't...

This isn't even that unbelievable is it? Not with Father. And some things make more sense, suddenly, and yet other things still don't at all.

He can't disagree that their family is messed up, that the nobility are messed up. He doesn't need to ask who Rufus pledged himself to, though he still doesn't get why.

But he has to clarify some other things first.]

Is that how you see it? That you've been deceiving me?

[ruinatings]

Are you going to say I haven't been? I've spent the entire time I've known you leading a double life. A large portion of what you faced as Class VII was engineered by me, for the sake of the chancellor's plan. The one behind the Noble Alliances schemes was me. I was even responsible for some of the things that led members to join the Imperial Liberation front, and I manipulated their involvement as well.

And then I left for Crossbell with no intention of speaking to you again except where necessary, and continued to play out that plan without ever telling you. Which I did, although you don't remember it now. I saw you once at a party, and besides that, I acknowledged you only on the battlefield. I didn't want you near me. I abandoned what we had and left you to handle the responsibilities I loathed.

[saddleclub]

Certainly you are not the man I grew up believing you to be. And I don't like the things you've done, or understand why you saw the need to do them in such extremes.

Perhaps even if you explained your reasoning, I wouldn't agree.

I'm no small amount annoyed and upset that you saw fit to abandon me with hardly a word to pursue your goals.

No, I'm not going to say you aren't a liar and double faced at that.

But you are, regardless of our birth, still my brother, and I refuse to believe that being kind to me when I was lost and alone in that house was just another scheme.

[He says that with confidence, conviction even. Though he's honestly still upset and reeling from the revelations, he at least cannot be swayed on this point. It's why Rufus's secrecy and abandonment have hurt so much the last six months or so.]

[ruinatings]

It wasn't. You were the only good piece of that life. But I thought...

[Normally he has a hard time talking about this part but right now he's way too intoxicated not to have a lot of feelings, or to keep them entirely inside. So just this one time Jusis can see him visibly upset, putting a hand to his temples as if it'll have any effect on the stres of this conversation.]

...I wanted to find the reason I was born. So I left you. I wanted to struggle all on my own. To prove myself worthy as that man's surrogate son. I could never perform well enough to give my existence worth, following Father. But I thought, if I did enough, I could prove it under the Chancellor. And I truly believed that his desires were righteous. I still do.

If it helps, you did show me how foolish I was. I threw myself so hard into it that I lost my mind to the malice swallowing Erebonia. But you, and Class VII, and... and Rean... stopped me. So I already know I was wrong. But I can't stop feeling like if I could just perfect myself a little more, try a little harder, maybe there'd be some value in what I've done. I am... a truly twisted creature. And I'm sorry, Jusis.

[saddleclub]

[This is really upsetting. Seeing Rufus, his big, strong, frighteningly competent older brother, like this is genuinely shocking.

But isn't it also good? Maybe? It means this may be the first time in his life Rufus has been really open with him, has treated him a little like an equal, which he's realizing, has realized a while ago, Rufus has never done before. He probably realized that when Rufus revealed who he really worked for, if not before that. But now, Rufus is talking to him, finally.]

If you are a twisted creature then so be it. I would rather know that and speak to you like this than watch you wrap yourself up in the falsehoods of some achievable perfection again.

You muttered about improving yourself. I won't accept an apology until you're satisfied with yourself.

[ruinatings]

Improving isn't for my satisfaction.

[And he doesn't think he could ever be satisfied with himself. There is never a "good enough" for Rufus.]

I just want to be worthy of your concern. But I don't know how long I have to try. So-- please accept it while you can. For your own sake.