auroraexpress | welcome to the jungle we've got fun and games

Entry tags:

welcome to the jungle we've got fun and games

Who: Y'all
When: Day 8 noonish
Where: THE JUNGLE

[So there is a mostly unexplored jungle out there.

It seems like a good day to explore it, eh?

Please look out for:

Venomous snakes, the smaller ones will leave you fevered and nauseas, the larger may stop your heart.

Spores, inhaling them can leave you with mild to severe continuing hallucinations

Pollen, it may make you sneeze.

Dark shadows in the undergrowth, that seem to whisper as you pass. In familiar voices...? Or that's just the wind.

Vicious monsters. They want to eat you.

And look out, if you go exploring, because halfway through your adventure the sky seems to open up and pour on you, try to find a safe shelter--if that exists in the jungle.

For those of you not inclined to explore well, you may see lights in the jungle, little wisps, of light in the growth, or maybe it's your team colors you see? The more you look the more you feel practically compelled to follow those lights and flashes of something familiar....

Maybe you get caught by the jungle's dangers, trapped in a cave by the downpour, or maybe you make it to an odd break around a still pond, the surface so smooth it's almost like a mirror. If you look in, your reflection looks back. And it smiles at you.

And if you make it this far, if you look deep into your reflection and let it stare back, you might find yourself leaning down, towards it--hopefully you have a companion to pull you back before pale arms reach to pull you in and drown you.

Even if you're pulled back from the glass pool, a strange dread lingers with you for a while. And the urge to be near others is incredibly strong. Be it their presence or their touch you crave, you need reassurance.

((OOC: Explore, use this an excuse for wet huddling together in a cave while hallucinating, get cool new scars from fighting beasts, encounter the glassy pool, or whatever! Grab a buddy, have a good(?) time.))]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

For someone who's been "forgotten". Haven't you realised yet what kind of person you're worrying about?

Yes. I'm caring for my older brother.

[Who is a pain in the ass and drunk but he's going to sit next to Rufus.]

What are you talking about?

Edited 2019-01-17 10:39 (UTC)

You... really have no idea.

[Because Rufus won't tell him, of course. But Rufus is also really fuckin' drunk and sad so he's having a hard time seeing why he's been hiding it so hard.]

The truth will only hurt you, Jusis. Are you sure you want me to tell you? About why I avoided you for so long.

Let me see, I have only been attempting to get you to explain every time you'll deign to speak to me. What do you think?

[Maybe Rufus is too drunk for sarcasm.]

Yes. Tell me.

[He gets the sarcasm but still! He can't help but wonder if Jusis is going to regret finding out.

But it's true he's been asking over and over. He'll find out eventually. So Rufus just sighs, pushing his wet hair back away from his face and looking at the floor.]

...I'm not your brother, actually. Not by blood.

[That's such a revelation said so, almost casually.... it's almost unreal. He can't quite believe it.]

What?

[Did he really hear that right?]

My actual father was the duke's younger brother. He was banished, and the truth was buried. From the very start our family was... wrong, from the inside. Everything that Father did -- the way he treated you, the way he treated our people, all of it -- was so... twisted. And so common amongst the nobility.

When I was a child, I did everything I was told, whether I liked it or not. But I hated it so much that eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. So I turned my back on it, before I ever met you properly, and pledged myself to someone else. Everything I ever was to you was in some part a lie. You see?

[Sorry he's feeling like he must be rude once drunk suddenly. This feels so unreal. This isn't...

This isn't even that unbelievable is it? Not with Father. And some things make more sense, suddenly, and yet other things still don't at all.

He can't disagree that their family is messed up, that the nobility are messed up. He doesn't need to ask who Rufus pledged himself to, though he still doesn't get why.

But he has to clarify some other things first.]

Is that how you see it? That you've been deceiving me?

Are you going to say I haven't been? I've spent the entire time I've known you leading a double life. A large portion of what you faced as Class VII was engineered by me, for the sake of the chancellor's plan. The one behind the Noble Alliances schemes was me. I was even responsible for some of the things that led members to join the Imperial Liberation front, and I manipulated their involvement as well.

And then I left for Crossbell with no intention of speaking to you again except where necessary, and continued to play out that plan without ever telling you. Which I did, although you don't remember it now. I saw you once at a party, and besides that, I acknowledged you only on the battlefield. I didn't want you near me. I abandoned what we had and left you to handle the responsibilities I loathed.

Certainly you are not the man I grew up believing you to be. And I don't like the things you've done, or understand why you saw the need to do them in such extremes.

Perhaps even if you explained your reasoning, I wouldn't agree.

I'm no small amount annoyed and upset that you saw fit to abandon me with hardly a word to pursue your goals.

No, I'm not going to say you aren't a liar and double faced at that.

But you are, regardless of our birth, still my brother, and I refuse to believe that being kind to me when I was lost and alone in that house was just another scheme.

[He says that with confidence, conviction even. Though he's honestly still upset and reeling from the revelations, he at least cannot be swayed on this point. It's why Rufus's secrecy and abandonment have hurt so much the last six months or so.]

It wasn't. You were the only good piece of that life. But I thought...

[Normally he has a hard time talking about this part but right now he's way too intoxicated not to have a lot of feelings, or to keep them entirely inside. So just this one time Jusis can see him visibly upset, putting a hand to his temples as if it'll have any effect on the stres of this conversation.]

...I wanted to find the reason I was born. So I left you. I wanted to struggle all on my own. To prove myself worthy as that man's surrogate son. I could never perform well enough to give my existence worth, following Father. But I thought, if I did enough, I could prove it under the Chancellor. And I truly believed that his desires were righteous. I still do.

If it helps, you did show me how foolish I was. I threw myself so hard into it that I lost my mind to the malice swallowing Erebonia. But you, and Class VII, and... and Rean... stopped me. So I already know I was wrong. But I can't stop feeling like if I could just perfect myself a little more, try a little harder, maybe there'd be some value in what I've done. I am... a truly twisted creature. And I'm sorry, Jusis.

[This is really upsetting. Seeing Rufus, his big, strong, frighteningly competent older brother, like this is genuinely shocking.

But isn't it also good? Maybe? It means this may be the first time in his life Rufus has been really open with him, has treated him a little like an equal, which he's realizing, has realized a while ago, Rufus has never done before. He probably realized that when Rufus revealed who he really worked for, if not before that. But now, Rufus is talking to him, finally.]

If you are a twisted creature then so be it. I would rather know that and speak to you like this than watch you wrap yourself up in the falsehoods of some achievable perfection again.

You muttered about improving yourself. I won't accept an apology until you're satisfied with yourself.

Improving isn't for my satisfaction.

[And he doesn't think he could ever be satisfied with himself. There is never a "good enough" for Rufus.]

I just want to be worthy of your concern. But I don't know how long I have to try. So-- please accept it while you can. For your own sake.

You--How many times must I say it? You are my brother! Blood or not, I shall always love you, you shall always have my concern, and it has nothing to do with being worthy!

And what do you mean you don't know how long you have?

[It has everything to do with being worthy!! Just like Rufus' entire life.

He sighs, rubbing his face as his eyes start burning again, not because of what he's about to say but because being loved is so powerfully bittersweet.]

One of us could leave here at any time. Even if somehow we all go home, I may not get to talk to you again. Because... In order to save the world, the Chancellor had to bring it to the brink of destruction. As he's now deceased, I'm taking responsibility in his stead as his right hand. That way the empire should be able to stabilize, and those we dragged down with us can be spared. But in return, I entirely expect the death penalty.

You--

[That is a lot and it's distressing as hell. But it's also distressing to see his brother tearing up so he hugs him, too frustrated and full of emotion and fear to quite know what to say just yet.

He doesn't want Rufus to die, if nothing else. And the thought of him leaving when the people who vanish from here have fates unknown is equally terrifying.]

You aren't allowed to disappear.

[Here or at home.]

It's not my decision to make.

[He sounds defeated, because he feels it. He's been trying hard to get himself in order but it's only been a few days since Randy convinced him to, so he hasn't exactly been able to change much.

Cautiously, he returns Jusis' hug. Normally he'd keep it together but the booze is in the way so he's crying openly despite himself.]

[He's never seen his brother cry but given what Rufus is telling him, that's kind of bad. Awful, really. How long his brother has been holding things in alone. No wonder he's twisted.

He rubs Rufus's back gently, not sure what to say now, but determined to be a strong support while his brother obviously needs it.]

Nevertheless...

[He doesn't want to think of Rufus vanishing or dying, it makes him want to hold his brother tighter.]

I was aware of my decisions, Jusis. I turned myself in. And I honestly had no intention of speaking to you again. I thought... that you wouldn't want me to.

[And THAT is why he's so emotional right now. That and just that physical affection is so so rare for him, and it feels really nice, and he's... he's a drunk mess.]

[Physical affection isn't an Albarea thing. Jusis is a little better at it because he has actual friends, but if Rufus weren't such a complete disaster already he'd probably be more self-conscious himself. As it is, Rufus being like this makes hugging him tighter easier. Annoyed and scared and attempting to comfort.]

You idiot! There's no world in which I wouldn't wish to talk with you, even if you did go play the villain.

...That's what I've been told.

Then believe it.

[...puts his face on Jusis' shoulder and makes a noise

sorry he's too drunk this is all he's got]

[Awkwardly, he'll pay his brother's head. He's got a lot of emotions going on but at least Rufus talked to him a little]

[This is awkward but also very much needed, so he's not going to move for a bit.]

...I was truly proud, you know. To be a part of Class VII's foundation, and to watch you grow up into a good man. You've exceeded my most generous expectations.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

this thread has A Lot Of Spoilers if other people are reading it btw

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject