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auroraexpress2019-12-17 12:46 pm
hot_mess_express) wrote in auroraexpress2019-12-17 12:46 pm
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(no subject)
Who: You
When: Day 52, morning
Where: Anywhere
[Of course there's still the flowers that, when stepped on, enhance or dull a sense, and there are still some chocolates in the lounge if you missed them or want more.
But this morning dawns with an infestation of bats.
That is, tiny tiny clockwork bats that get in your hair and coffee and make tiny tiny clockwork bat screeches.
Should you encounter a clockwork bat, and they're pretty hard to dodge, the next person you talk to will... Well, see one of your memories.
Otherwise it seems like a pretty typical morning, and the bats will be gone by afternoon.]
When: Day 52, morning
Where: Anywhere
[Of course there's still the flowers that, when stepped on, enhance or dull a sense, and there are still some chocolates in the lounge if you missed them or want more.
But this morning dawns with an infestation of bats.
That is, tiny tiny clockwork bats that get in your hair and coffee and make tiny tiny clockwork bat screeches.
Should you encounter a clockwork bat, and they're pretty hard to dodge, the next person you talk to will... Well, see one of your memories.
Otherwise it seems like a pretty typical morning, and the bats will be gone by afternoon.]
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It's nobody else's business.
[ His tone is matter-of-fact about it even as he keeps hugging Rean. The idea of being that openly vulnerable in a public environment makes him uncomfortable. He's definitely not shy. ]
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Yeah, maybe not.
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[ He's quiet for a moment. ]
You know, I can't imagine it didn't hurt you to remember that. Having your hand forced into something that terrible, that painful... Even if it was a long time ago, even if it feels like ancient history... You don't have to shoulder that burden alone. You have people who care for you, Rean. You should lean on us a little more.
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I... Thank you.
[He doesn't know what else to say. He does know, that he's cared about, in the same way, he doesn't want to put any sadness on those around him, even if it's only to sympathize with him. Maybe especially for that. Yes he also knows leaning on others is important, in general. After all, it's part of what this whole train is supposed to be about.
But, when it comes down to it, for a situation like with Graham... Even if he was forced, he doesn't feel he deserves sympathy. Even if it hurts, all he can do for the lives he's taken is hurt for them. He doesn't know exactly what Crow saw, but a lot of things happened that "lifetime" or whatever you call it, and most of them were monstrous. Leaning on anyone else for this feels somewhat wrong.
But he doesn't want to reject Crow's feelings either.]
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[ He pulls away a little, just enough to look at Rean's face will still nominally hugging him. ]
You wouldn't let anyone else suffer alone.
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[He sighs softly and kind of smiles, a little.]
I wasn't even trying to argue you know.
[Not fair to see through him.]
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Thank you. I think I'm pretty lucky.
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[ He winks at Rean. ]
But that still doesn't sound like you're gonna stop keeping things bottled up.
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[ Crow sighs. ]
Just.... forget about it. Offer's open if you want it.
[ It's not like Crow doesn't get it, anyway.
He ruffles Rean's hair again, pulling back from the hug. ]
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[He catches Crow's wrist.]
I don't want to forget about it. When you treat me like I'm just another person, it means the world to me.
I'm not trying to dismiss you, or your concern.
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Of course you're a person.
[ He wouldn't say "just another" one, though. Rean is...
Anyway. ]
Being a Divine Knight doesn't change that, it just means there's a little extra added on. It's relevant, but it's not even close to being the most interesting thing about you. You're kind, overly sappy, and the kind of guy who tries his best to be there for everyone. Even at the cost of himself.
And that's the part that makes people worry.
[ That's the part that makes him worry. ]
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...It's not like I want to keep secrets, but there's also things I don't want to talk about. That maybe I don't know how to talk about.
But if that worries you more, then I can try.
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[ He is, perhaps shockingly, very self-aware about that. ]
What I don't like is the idea that you're suffering alone. I don't need to know the specifics, not if that'll hurt you worse. But remembering shit like that's traumatic. It's okay to just say you need some company without telling me more.
I feel like... if I didn't realize you were suffering, then I haven't been a good friend to you. And that's what bothers me. You've always been here for me but I haven't been there for you. Feels kinda uneven.
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[He sighs.]
You know I'm supposed to be the one providing support... As it is I think you're underselling yourself. You being you all the times is really heartening. It isn't like I sit around and brood when no one is looking. I'm not faking it when we have fun together. I don't feel alone. I feel blessed to have you in my life, bringing everything you bring to it, every day.
You already give me so much Crow. If anything is uneven, I feel like I haven't done enough. You make me happy. And because you do, I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to shut you out.
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[ Because, Crow has slowly come to realize as he's spent more and more time with Rean, he trusts him implicitly. ]
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[Noticing he's being hit on and relying on others, Rean's two biggest weaknesses.]
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[ So like, you've been warned. ]
Oh and uh, one other thing.
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What is it?
1/3
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...You're not "just" another person to me. You're Rean Schwarzer, my friend, my partner, the person who challenges me most. The guy who makes me want to try harder to be the best version of myself. You're.... one of the most important parts of my life. And I'm glad you're by my side.
Done.
Aaaaaanyway, that's enough sappiness out of me. Possibly for the next year or so. At least.
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