The Nineteenth Trial

[hot_mess_express]

Who: Everyone
When: Day 43, evening
Where: The Mermaid's Beach

Come on, come on heroes...! Come hither!

[ There's a playful giggle and the sound of splashing as the Mermaid's beach appears in the clearing. ]

Let's play a game...!

Comments

[voreaciously]

Selfless people do not have limits as they often should.

[it takes her a second because she actually likes gardening.]

Moving quite along now. You are a stalwart individual and I do not hate you.

[schrodingerscockroach]

They really don't. That's why some selfishness is good.

...thanks.

[Considers] The rest is getting a little more awkward.

[voreaciously]

[a little cloud appears above dusk's chest

and it starts to rain on it.

now how could that have happened?]

[schrodingerscockroach]

See, you do that to be petty, but considering how hot it's been, I'm going to count this as a win.

[voreaciously]

I was not being petty. I have a square, but if you like, I can continue it.

[schrodingerscockroach]

Ah, a devastating prank.

I also need to pet someone. Want to switch when you're done with the massage?

[voreaciously]

We can do that now. Could you arm wrestle me, after?

[schrodingerscockroach]

Sure. The wrestling square? [But sitting up now.] How do you want to rest?

[voreaciously]

The same way, I suppose.

[she lies on her side her face turned away]

[schrodingerscockroach]

All right. [Will sit so she can rest on his leg and will start petting her hair.]

[voreaciously]

[she doesn't say anything for a while.

and then:]

I miss someone every hour of every day.

[schrodingerscockroach]

....

[Oh]

....do you want to talk about them? [Said gentle and quiet.]

[voreaciously]

[There's more than one, honestly, but she knows that if she starts going on and on she just will not stop until she breaks to pieces.

Unacceptable.

She doesn't want to talk about it at all, or rather not with him, but she needs to win, because that's what she does.

But how does one describe one Bakugou Katsuki?]

He...was really fussy.

[yeah.]

He liked for things to be done his way, but he was often sensible despite appearances so it was fine, in the end. I say despite appearances because he was very loud, boisterous, and quick to anger or frustration over the simplest things sometimes, but even if he was those things, he was also deeply thoughtful. Of what he wanted, of other people too, even if he always denied it.

[not with her though, not in any way that mattered, but she keeps that to herself.]

He was extremely driven and determined, willing to do almost anything. [she pauses.] Almost. Deep down, he wanted to do the right thing by him and his friends so he had limits.

[he never liked them, but that was why she was there, to tell him it was alright to have them.]

He was someone to follow, always shining, never settling for second best. A true hero.

[And it still feels like half her heart is missing, damn it, damn him, damn her. Why isn't he here?]

He always made his food very spicy and didn't care what anyone else thought. It was delicious, though.

[schrodingerscockroach]

[He listens, letting her talk, and continues stroking her hair.]

[He knew she was someone who cared, no matter what she tried to pretend, so it's not a surprise she feels this much for someone. That someone did mean this much and she knew all this. A surprise she's saying it, but she is someone whose determined to win.]

[He wishes she could let herself feel this more freely because burying that pain about someone has to be terrible.]

He really does sound like an admirable guy. [He's can remember plenty of people with hard to approach exteriors. Might be a hard guy to get along with, but what matter was what was inside.]

[Really, it sounds like he and 80H had a lot in common.] Did he inspire you too?

[voreaciously]

Very flawed, but very admirable all the same. He always strove to be the best version of himself and he came so far--we always did our best when we were together.

[Other people came and went and she...did not like that, but they kept the team going all the same.

Meanwhile, she is regressing, maybe, but she doesn't...she draws her knees in a little.]

He would be very ashamed of me, I think.

[schrodingerscockroach]

Everyone's got flaws. Just having a lot and being admirable just means he really had to be something special.

...

Why do you think he'd be ashamed?

[voreaciously]

Because I am not doing my best. Obviously.

[schrodingerscockroach]

And what do you think your best would be?

[voreaciously]

...I do not know, but I am not doing it.

[except at trials, but those hardly count]

[schrodingerscockroach]

...you know, being ashamed is one of those feelings you can change.

First step is trying to do better. Finding something you know you can improve and then work from there.

[voreaciously]

I cannot do the only thing that matters, here. Even he knew that.

[schrodingerscockroach]

What is the only thing that matters?

[voreaciously]

What this place asks of us.

[schrodingerscockroach]

Bonding.

Why can't you bond?

[voreaciously]

I cannot form attachments with most others.