Zol Balfaltin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
grimpa) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
auroraexpress2018-12-20 12:19 pm
grimpa) wrote in auroraexpress2018-12-20 12:19 pm
mingle!
Who: anyone!
When: Day 6, morning
Where: the lounge carriage (or, like, wherever, I'm not your boss)
[What's shakin', heroes? That sure was a trial last night, huh? What's on the agenda this morning-- still exploring, for new folks? Having team talks in light of having two trials'-worth of info on how this stuff is gonna go? Cooking something up in the public kitchen? Taking memories or testing out new powers? Playing with new purchases from the sparks shop? Just hanging out in the lounge? You do you; everyone's gotta find their own path on their magical interdimensional spacetrain journey.]
When: Day 6, morning
Where: the lounge carriage (or, like, wherever, I'm not your boss)
[What's shakin', heroes? That sure was a trial last night, huh? What's on the agenda this morning-- still exploring, for new folks? Having team talks in light of having two trials'-worth of info on how this stuff is gonna go? Cooking something up in the public kitchen? Taking memories or testing out new powers? Playing with new purchases from the sparks shop? Just hanging out in the lounge? You do you; everyone's gotta find their own path on their magical interdimensional spacetrain journey.]
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[Her voice is hard, too many past housemates with their backs turned flit through her mind..]
If you believe they make you stronger, then you are entitled to that.
[sounds fake tho]
You helped me, but I will not stand for unbalanced scales. I will do something for you, provided it is within reason.
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[he really didn't want to do this, but... he's not seeing another way.]
You were begging someone not to leave. When you were just about to wake up.
RANDY IS A GOOD MAN WHO DESERVES THE WORLD
I did not.
he's doing his best
[his voice is soft now, throaty but almost inaudible.]
I'm sorry. But I can't leave you alone in good conscience, not after hearing that.
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Furious at herself for admitting to some sort of weakness. Furious at him for leveraging that against her.]
You said you were going to.
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[he shoves his hair out of his face, frustrated.]
And it's not like I've never broken a promise before, but that'd be a really shitty way to... any of this.
Look. 80H. I... I just want you to be okay? I want to help you be okay. And you've shown no signs of wanting that same thing.
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[She repeats it to drive the point, not at all in a charitable mood. She also files that little bit of knowledge in case she needs it, but if he is being so forthcoming with it, it might not matter to him in a way that can be exploited.
Still, he is trying so that may be something. It is too hot to think on it deeply, she simply makes a note of it. Sets it aside.]
I will be fine.
[And she sounds, perhaps, a bit bitter about that fact.]
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[She does not snap, but her it's a near thing, her voice grows harder.]
I am resting, as per your desire. You have an update of my status, as per your desire.
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[randy bites his lip]
Yeah. I'm doing this all wrong.
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[but he's backing off, heading for the door.]
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But she has the heat to thank for that, in part. It didn't start this fire, but it's accelerated it. It leaves her wanting to hurt, wanting to lash out, for once. And it's funny, because, in this moment, she understands.
What Katsuki must feel like.
It strikes her in the heart, what is left of it. Its existence was always very dubious, but now it...hurts and feels hollow at the same time. She knows this pain well, and yet, it is completely different. Like being stabbed with a straight blade versus a serrated one doused in poison. There are quite a few new dimensions of agony she has not considered, but is forced to contend with now.
She misses her goggles, having her eyes bare and for all to see, even with her glasses, feels like a vulnerability now even if she's lived this way for most of her life. It pains her to do it, with her stiff, weak, and aching body, but she turns on her side to face the wall. It makes the world seem so much smaller and she hates herself for it, but she does not trust herself not to betray anything like this.
She wants to hurt, yes, but the tension in her frame ebbs way. She...she is so...so tired. She, of all people, cannot stomach this lie any longer, that she is not alone when the reality could not be further from it.
She is. That is all there is to it.]
Leave me...please.
[She does not have anything left.]
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