INTROS + MONTHLIES

[trainmasters]

Who: Everyone
When: Day 59, morning
Where: the Aurora

[It's morning, though you might not know it from the darkness that remains outside. But there is an annoouncement on your Chain to brighten up the day regardless:]

WELCOME NEW HEROES

[This round's newbies are waking up in their rooms, in the usual nondescript undies or team pyjamas. They'll get their basic welcome message and a prompt to view the IC Guide.

As you go out to greet them, you might find that the entire train has been decorated! By whom is not readily apparent, but there's streamers and heart-shaped balloons adorning all the hallways and many of the additional cars besides which. It's festive!

You know what else is festive? The candy hearts sitting in bowls around the place. They all have generic, cute messages on them like "I ♥ You," "Be Mine," "Text Me," "Forever," etc. Try one out! Though you might find they carry some effects when you try one out....

♥ Pink Hearts These hearts will cause an empathetic bond! For the next few minutes/hours/rest of the thread, you'll find yourself connected with the nearest person in arguably the most intimate of ways....

♡ White Hearts You just can't help it after you chomp down on one of these hearts-- you've got a song on your lips bursting to come out! You may even feel up for dancing. Go forth and be your best, most musical sellf!

♥ Green Hearts You know what that person you're talking to RIGHT NOW needs? A hug!!! At least, that's the urge you'll get the moment you pop a green heart into your mouth. Although handholding also seems to get rid of the compulsion, so hey, there's options!

♡ Blue Hearts The very next thing you say after you eat one of these bad boys comes out in poem form! It doesn't have to be good poetry, mind you. Limericks, haikus, anything goes! At least it's mercifully brief?

And so it goes. Enjoy your icebreaker and make that fresh meat feel welcome!]

[[OOC NOTES: As the monthly prompt, the candy hearts will continue until next month's placements. If you have any questions, please ping the mods via the q&a. Thank you!]]

Comments

[schrodingerscockroach]

[Do you sense the looming Aoko?]

[DO YOU SENSE IT?]

[Because someone is just standing behind the couch, staring at the screen with the blankest expression.]

[What do you do when you've been fucked in the head and not sleeping and then SEE THAT?]

[bluediligence]

[ It takes her a couple of minutes because that ]

[ THAT WAS BAD ]

[ a bad fucking time ]

[ It'd be a mistake to say that she's pulled herself together, but she's breathing again, and her tears are, at the very least, silent. She'd known that was coming but Jesus Fucking Christ did it have to come now? ]

[ And then she finally senses a familiar looming presence behind her. She turns, rasping in an uneven, painful breath. ]

D-Dusk ...

[schrodingerscockroach]

[YEAH NO, THAT'S FINE.]

[Because he's not. Not dealing so well himself. There's screaming in his head again. Trying to get pieces together to not have a break down on Faito.]

[A LOT EASIER SAID THAN DONE.]

I could have killed you.

[bluediligence]

I ... I had to try, for you and ... and Ai-chan. [ It's hard to even talk right now, the words sticking in her throat like thorns. ]

[ Ai-chan. Epsilon. He'd been so, so sure that he wasn't safe for Ai-chan, so sure that he'd hurt them or worse. ]

... And Agent Washington was - I knew that only I could do it. That he wouldn't want to ... [ When she laughs, it's quiet and rough and a little wet. ] W-well. He wanted me away, not dead. He was trying to protect me, too.

[ From himself, in his own exceptionally shitty way. ]

[schrodingerscockroach]

[He was the worst kind of human.]

He hurt you. He was trying to hurt you. [Even if he didn't kill her, he was trying to make it hurt and]

[Why....why was...]

That wasn't the first time it happened.

[bluediligence]

... Yeah. He was. Because ... [ She pauses, wiping her face on her sleeve. It's gross and she's gross but that's whatever right now. ]

He was all of the worst stuff rolled up into one person. He wasn't you. N-Not really. [ Not anymore. ]

And maybe you've hurt me before, but I'll bet my whole heart and soul that it wasn't on purpose, o-or because you wanted to, or anything like that.

[schrodingerscockroach]

[He finally looks at her.]

Faito-I-I wouldn't-I never-

[And yet there's the phantom taste of blood on his lips. He hurt her. He was so cruel and even if it was a heart, even if that meant some part was condensed down to his anger...]

[He hurt her and that tears at his heart more than he fully expected it to.]

[bluediligence]

I know. I-I know, I know you wouldn't.

[ She leans over the back of the couch, reaching for him, her fingers hovering bare milimeters away from touching his hand. ]

Or you wouldn't be my Dusk-nii.

[schrodingerscockroach]

[That feels like a punch to the chest. It makes it hard to breathe because he doesn't expect it.]

[He doesn't, because why would he? He knows the word, knows what 'nii' means, amongst his passable amount of Japanese. It means big brother. But why would Faito....?]

[But it makes him...happy? It feels natural to hear????]

[BUT IT SHOULDN'T??????????????????]

[He stares at Faito, looking very much like he doesn't know how to feel and a bit like a goldfish, opening and closing his mouth.]

[bluediligence]

[ It's so much nicer to take him off guard with this, than it is to think about the memory. About how much it hurt. About the raw panic and terror she'd felt with his hand clamped around the back of her neck. ]

.. It feels weird, right? [ smiles at him, weak and tremulous. ] Weird, but right? Like it fits.

[schrodingerscockroach]

It.....it does? But I don't understand?

[But that was always Faito. Being around her was good and righy. It was a feeling....a feeling of home. Its the first time he coukd grasp the word, but it feels right finally.]

But why....? I don't....don't remember you...?

[bluediligence]

... Your heart does. That memory you got, the one that wasn't a memory? That was your heart.

[ Her hand moves that tiny bit closer, until her fingers finally touch the back of his hand. ]

Sorry, I know it's cheating.

[schrodingerscockroach]

[Well, that would explain the WEIRD FEELINGS ALL OVER?]

I....is it? It's like....I can remember, but don't. And....it's...it's not a bad thing to know? I'd rather know than not?

[He flinches at first, looking down at her hand. Then....moves closer, hesitant.]

[bluediligence]

It's more that, uhm ... You? The pieces of your heart? You were really honest about how much they, uhm, you, didn't really want us there, and that it was only anywhere close to "okay" because of the threat.

[ Touches his hand properly, trying to gently draw him around to sit next to her on the couch. ]

So I feel kinda bad for knowing? Even though it's a good thing for us both to know, and not something I wanna hide from you.

[schrodingerscockroach]

Honestly, I'm still not entirely sure what all...happened. One minute I was awake, and the next I was in Rean's heart, and then 80H's, and then I woke up and I just....wasn't ready to deal. [He absolutely just Booked It.]

[He is letting himself get guided. Hesitantly, delayed, but he is bit by bit.]

It is good. To know. At least.

[bluediligence]

That's fair. More than fair. [ He totally booked it and she totally let him, because heck knows that she would want some space after that. ]

... D'you remember seeing me at all? Just for a second or two?

[ She lets him come at his own pace, guiding without forcing him. ]

But ... yeah. That much is good.

[ Maybe let's just focus on this, on his feelings, rather than anything to do with That Memory. ]

[schrodingerscockroach]

[Sometimes you can't deal so you go RUN LAPS IN DEATH FOREST because you'd rather fight zombie gingerbread men then deal with people.]

...of course I do. I remember everyone who was there.

[So much hesitation, but he does eventually sit.]

[bluediligence]

[ good, sit, and she's going to very loosely keep his hand ]

No, I mean, I think I saw you while I was in your heart. [ ... ... ... ]

[ ok that sounds like a dumbass thing to say ]

You when you were in somebody else's heart, I mean. Does that make sense?

[schrodingerscockroach]

Oh.

No, no, I don't remember anything like that...

And....it's my heart? That makes sense I'm there?

[bluediligence]

Ah, no, that's not what I mean. I was talking to one of your heart-yous — Wash, he's the part of you that's the soldier — when he suddenly kinda …

[ Makes an awkward fluttery hand gesture. ]

He was suddenly you? In your Clover gear, with a knife.

[schrodingerscockroach]

....I....did have a knife fight in Rean's heart? Before I really knew what was going on.

[bluediligence]

[ uuuUUHHHHHHHH ]

Wait, what? Is he okay? Are you - I know you're not okay, but-!

[schrodingerscockroach]

It was a knife versus gun fight.

And I chose to use the knife over the gun for a reason. [He was that much better.]

I...I think it's okay? I was in a war zone and I was trying to save a mother and child and there were these dumb kids who didn't know they were outmatched. I didn't kill them. Just....you know, made their knees not work anymore. Then a guy showed up and was surprised I didn't kill them, so that was probably good?

[bluediligence]

[ did you ]

[ did you kneecap some teenagers ]

[ is that a thing that you did ]

[ opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, a shade paler than she had been. which is saying something, after that memory. ]

... Oh.

[schrodingerscockroach]

[LISTEN]

[They were probably at least eighteen.]

....I told them I'd go with them peacefully if they left the woman and child alone, but they didn't take me up on the offer. And they were helping massacre a town.

The civilians took priority. [HE WAS HONESTLY BEING INCREDIBLY FAIR.]