(no subject)

[bluediligence]

Who: Anyone
When: Day 49, Late afternoon
Where: Anywhere

[ If the morning's trial hadn't been miserable enough … ]

[ Now it's raining! And it's still so foggy you can barely see your own feet. ]

Comments

[awakenerd]

[Oh no, wrapping his arms around this good man, tucking his face in Randy's hair.]

Okay. But, you really are an incredible guy.

[crimeson]

[he tucks his face against Rean's shoulder and shakes his head, just a little. enough to feel.]

I know you think so, but... please, please don't tell me.

[he's about to cry]

[awakenerd]

I think I need to. You should definitely listen to me over whatever you're telling yourself right now.

[He starts to pet Randy's hair.]

[crimeson]

I'm not telling myself anythin' worse than usual. I'm not crazy.

[awakenerd]

I know you aren't. You just won't let yourself accept that you are good, either.

Maybe I can't make you accept it, but you better believe I'm going to tell you how much I care about you anyway.

[crimeson]

It's because I'm not good, Rean! I'm glad you think well of me! I'm glad to be liked! But I can't--

[awakenerd]

Can't what?

[crimeson]

I can't forgive myself! I can't. So don't push me to.

[awakenerd]

[Hm

Time to frame Randy's face with his hands and turn him so he's looking at Rean again.]

Then I'll forgive you for you. Don't take everything alone. I'm right here.

[crimeson]

[it's actually kind of hard to get him to make eye contact, this time.]

...You can't. The only person who could forgive me can't, because I killed him.

[awakenerd]

Was he the kind of guy to hold a grudge like this?

[crimeson]

We don't get to know, because I fucking killed him!

[awakenerd]

Randy! No matter what you've done or the burdens you shoulder for it, you still deserve to be happy.

[crimeson]

Stop.

[awakenerd]

I can't.

[crimeson]

Rean...

[awakenerd]

I can't look away from someone I love suffering.

[He leans his forehead to Randy's.]

So there's no point in asking me to.

[crimeson]

[...sighs, tiredly. and reaches to card fingers into Rean's hair.]

I don't deserve you.

[awakenerd]

[You deserve better.]

But you're stuck with me anyway.

[crimeson]

It's not like that.

[awakenerd]

...? Well you're still stuck with me.

[crimeson]

M'not stuck.

[awakenerd]

Whatever word you want then.

[He drapes his arms on Randy's shoulders and sighs.]

What am I going to do with you?

[crimeson]

Happy to have you. Even if you're ridiculously stubborn.

Just... stay with me.

[awakenerd]

Of course. I'm happy to.