auroraexpress | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who: everyone
When: Day 35 morning
Where: the lounge car

[This morning, or whenever you wake up, you will find that there are delicious smells wafting from the lounge car. Upon investigation, one will discover a beautiful spread of hot cocoa and tea and coffee and many marshmallow animals, ideal for putting in your drinks or simply eating wholesale. It isn't just cats either, but many animals of a similar quality of marshmallow, whatever kinds you'd like. But you may find the warm fuzzies they impart might be a bit more than internal.

In a conspicuous place is a note in handwriting many of you may find quite familiar at this point:

Thanks for your help.

- Hazel

His signature isn't alone, either. There are a couple of others, though somehow they're far less readable? Some are definitely just little drawings. Weird.]

[[ooc notes: 10% furry event!! many marshmallows have no effect, but those that do will instill temporary animal parts up to a kemonomimi level! enjoy your ears and tails, folks. and your newbies.]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I... really really do have to apologize though? It doesn't matter if you grate on people, my behavior is my own responsibility, and my behavior was being a jerk when you didn't deserve it.

[she tilts her head a little before righting it. she really doesn't get it when she was the one who was making him upset, but it seems pointless to fight him on it.

much.]

It is not necessary, but I cannot stop you. On that note, I apologise for upsetting you and if you would prefer that I abstain from offering assistance in the future, then I shall. You are clearly otherwise equipped.

No, I don't--I appreciate the help, truly. I'd like it in the future. And I won't bite your head off next time.

Very well. As long as you do understand that I exist to help, but I offer to do so, Instructor.

[Mngh.]

I at least appreciate that you want to help people.

[she shrugs]

I exist in service to humanity, whenever possible. It is fine. If I can do something, it is wasteful not to. That is all.

[Fussy... noise.]

Well, if that's what you like.

What is your issue with it?

It just... bothers me that you don't seem to put yourself as important as others.

[Pot meet kettle.]

Maybe I'm just misunderstanding you. But from my perspective you're as important and valuable as every other person here.

That is a rather hypocritical statement you are making, Instructor. I am a tool. I have no compunctions with that. My body is a shell, it can be replaced. It could always be replaced, that is how I was built, even prior to the Aurora.

You, however, arrived with rousing speeches and calls to action that did not leave people untouched and yet you refuse to regard yourself with proper and due consideration. It is concerning and frankly unfair and irresponsible to the people you hope to lead.

[I'm not hoping to lead anyone. Is what he doesn't say.]

You asked about my issue with you, not my own issues. I'm perfectly capable of wanting to see you place more value in yourself while struggling with the same problem.

I can multitask.

[don't be leaderly then, nerd!!]

I value myself adequately. If I can be anything worth using, I am content. The only issue is if I fail to be such.

[but she's surprised that is self-aware on that front]

At least you are aware.

I know when I'm a hypocrite, usually.

... Instead of criticizing you I just wish there was a way I could encourage you to feel more valued and wanted.

Such things may be necessary for humans, but I do not require such frivolities. And it is as I have said: I grate on others. I do not get along with them, and so while such things are already unnecessary, they would be a waste of time.

It's not a waste of time. I line you. Of course I want to find ways to encourage you to feel more cared about.

[????????????????????]

I have done nothing likable.

[she's baffled, honestly.]

But... You have? You're strong, you're intelligent, you're there when people need help, you're an amazing cook and you share it. Even if you don't think much of yourself, and yeah, even if your personality can be difficult, you're really reliable.

--I am none of those things. [she speaks very quickly after him, as though to cut him off or speak over him. she does not snap, but she is quietly insistent.

her denial is not entirely true, but it is more that he is saying remotely positive things about her and she cannot handle them wholesale and so she completely dismisses them outright]

If ever I approximate any of those qualities, it is for an ulterior motive. That is what I am: self-serving when not in use. But that is not important. [they could go on this way forever

and she also wants the last word if she can have it, so]

That's what I mean. I wish there was a way I could encourage you and let you see yourself from my perspective without you feeling the need to deny anything remotely positive about yourself.

It might just be that I'm lacking in the way I express it. I'll try harder.

You cannot lack for what is impossible. It is not your fault.

[great now she has to GIVE A SHIT she literally didn't want this.]

I do not want for you to continue your attempts. I am fine, Instructor.

[He just smiles a little wistfully. Because clearly he's not trying hard enough yet! He'll just, keep at it.]

Sorry. [For failing and being bad at this.] I'll keep doing my best. In the meantime have you tried the cocoa?

Please cease your apologising, you are not responsible for me or how I feel. Rather, that is quite arrogant of you.

[wordlessly, for a moment, she points to her horns]

Yes, I have.

Ah... sorry.

[He's just a jerk forever huh?]

I meant just the cocoa. Is it good? I've only tried the coffee so far.

Stop, Instructor. You have not done anything wrong. It is good, yes. Full flavoured and sweet.

I might give it a try then. What do you like better, coffee, tea or cocoa? I think for me it depends on context.