auroraexpress | (no subject)

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miya

(no subject)

Who: Clover, Visitors
When: Day 61, evening and night
Where: Clover

[ After a long and interesting trial, Meri-in-Eliza has decided to DESTRESS ]

[ Namely by trying to climb the trees in her garden. Anyone who wants to join her will find that her bedroom door is wide open, and the curtain separating her "indoor" and "outdoor" areas pushed back. ]

Wah! Why don't humans have claws!

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....you know, this story is traumatic for a normal person, you would probably find it worse than normal. Which is saying something.

[Heart removal.]

Why's that?

[ He knows trauma, okay. But he's also not necessarily going to argue to hear something horrible. Unless it's important.

That said, rebellious streak. ]

Because if there's anything I'd assume as a trigger of yours, it'd involve a trigger of yours.

And it could go real bad.

And if I have an argument with a teammate over sensitive subjects, I may just go try and drown myself in hot chocolate.

What do you mean trigger? Trigger me to do something?

[ Thankfully, that rebellious urge sputters a bit at that last part, and Roxas' look loses its intensity. ]

Fine, I get it. It's just something you don't want to talk about.

More....something very upsetting and likely to provoke an extreme reaction.

Like one of my triggers is having an AI in my neural implants. I could go from zero to edge of a panic attack in an instant, even if I fully trust the AI in question.

I really don't. Sometimes trials harm and trauma and body horror, pretty much the lesson of that.

AI in you neural implants?

[ Okay that sounds like something he should probably ask about if it's one of this trigger situations. ]

The metal bits at the back of my neck. I have a bunch of wires in my brain that connect to those. Two are chips to help me run neural interface devices, like my power armor, and one is to an empty port for an AI.

I was part of an experiment that partners human soldiers with AI's directly, allowing the AI more processing power thanks to the human brain, and letting the human overcome mental limits. Essentially become a two person army.

Presumably I was one of the experiment's failure.

[ Roxas is just honestly so very relieved that Dusk isn't in his body while he's discussing this. Experiment? Something that messed with his mind? ]

That's awful! What were they trying to do?

....

Back home, humanity had reached the point of colonizing planets. We were spread across the galaxy and we met other species.

Unfortunately, our neighbors weren't so friendly. There was war. Neither compromise nor surrender were believed to be viable options. I don't recall why, just that it was. And the Covenant were very effective at making planets uninhabitable with storms that would quickly wipe out anything that remained on the surface for long. I've remembered escaping this kind of attack twice.

An enemy with far better weapons then are, willing to sacrifice that much to kill us, that's a hard fight to win.

But humanity doesn't take seemingly hopeless odds lying down. I imagine there were a lot of projects like Freelancer. Everyone trying to figure out the magic bullet that would allow us to end this war.

And at least on paper, Project Freelancer was trying to achieve that end. And despite some mishaps, the combination was an effective duo. North was superhuman with the stuff he could do with Theta. I assume I saw more along those lines because it was a while before I got an AI.

[ There are a LOT of words he doesn't understand in that explanation but that context helps him at least get the gist. An enemy that could take out large numbers at once. People desperate for a solution. Technology seen as a way to make them stronger. ]

Does that mean you volunteered to have that stuff put in you?

I did.

I was a little kid during a Covenant attack. That alone would have been enough to make me do anything to end the war.

You weren't afraid what might happen if you couldn't control it or the wrong person did?

Of course I was afraid.

But I knew concretely the consequences of losing. Everyone definitely dead was unacceptable. Me potentially firing my brain was.

You were ready to give your life for everyone else.

That's what a soldier does.

And a soldier is a pretty big part of who I am.

You don't look like any of the soldiers I've ever seen.

[ Mostly because those are Heartless. ]

It's just sad that people would have to do that.

What kind of soldiers did you see?

That's what war is. A lot of sad and loss and anger. And it was something that lasted at least twenty years. It needed to end.

They weren't human.

I think we were in the middle of a war too. I'm not sure how long it's been going on.

A friend of mine also took some big risks to save people.

[ And he's still not sure how that turned out, even before the whole Malice situation. ]

That'd explain it. Not being the same species would do a lot to look different.

Things like that usually takes big risks.

Doesn't always work out, but I hope your friend did better than me.

He saved the person he was trying to save at least.

Then at least he should be satisfied.

Oh, he would be. That doesn't make it any easier for the rest of us though.

...no, it usually doesn't.

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